Setember 13

Weekend Bulletin
Children’s Bulletin

Deacon’s Digest
That Forgiveness Thing…

One of my favorite things to do is Marriage Preparation. I meet with several couples every year and, hopefully, help prepare them to cope with all of the things that life will bring. It is a true blessing to walk with others on this journey. One of the things we inevitably talk about is forgiveness. In the event of a disagreement or an accidental (or purposeful) slight against another, both parties need to have the capacity to ask for forgiveness and to forgive the other. Both of these actions require humility and love. To ask for forgiveness is placing the guilt or shame you feel for your actions at the feet of the other. To forgive is to have the humility and love to absolve the other without holding grudges and without regret. In today’s Gospel, Peter asks Jesus, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus answers in a way that means - ALWAYS! We are called to forgive over and over again. In marriage, in friendship, in families granting and requesting forgiveness is frequent. Many years ago, a priest friend of mine told me that one of the things people confessed a lot was a person’s inability to forgive. This priest told me that these people were living lives that were anxious, tense, angry, and depressed, but they still could not bring themselves to simply forgive the other. My mother-in-law (God rest her soul) had a tough time forgiving. She had grown up in a small town where it seemed that others had offended her in many ways. She told me outright that she would NOT forgive them. She had many skin problems, and when she was thinking or talking about her early life you could see the rashes on her arms get bright red. It looked like she was boiling from the inside out. Many years ago, a priest (Fr Ternes) was subbing here at St Michael and gave a homily on forgiveness. He said one phrase that I have never forgotten - “Unforgiveness is like drinking a glass of poison but hoping the other person dies.” That quip applied to my mother-in-law and probably does to many others, too. The anger and resentment that builds with the refusal to forgive slowly kill a person from the inside out. That’s why Jesus tells Peter he must forgive and forgive and forgive again. To be a whole person, to be a Christian, to be a person healthy in body, mind, and spirit demands that we also be people who can let go of past hurts. Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting. We were created with brains that remember things, so it can be difficult to “forgive and forget.” What does happen when we forgive is the emotions that come with the memory eventually go away. All of the sadness, shame, anger, and hatred seem to leave us as we sincerely free the other person (and ourselves) from the grip of unforgiveness. Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to ask for forgiveness? In prayer, and with God’s help, do your best to forgive those who have hurt you and experience the healing and new life that comes with it.